a year ago around this time i was pretty miserable. to make matters worse, i didn’t tell anyone and pretended to be okay. exhausting, that sh*t. seriously. i was in no christmas mood whatsoever. i was in the middle of my first depression and didn’t

where to start? *sigh* now i’m sure those of you who still come and check this place every once in a while noticed the more frequent appearance of password protected posts in the last months (year). it’s been a tough time for me with so much going on,

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pause.

i’m feeling a lot better than i did two months ago. and i can’t even really tell you why. did i loose weight? uhm honestly, i don’t think so but i couldn’t even tell you for sure because i haven’t stepped on a scale in about two months.

let’s start with this, shall we? no, nothing [particular] happened. which is probably part of the reason it all sucks. i don’t want pity or pats on the head or “it’s going to be okay”s. because right now, if things don’t change,

for a few months now i’ve been feeling very lost. unhappy for no obvious reason. then again, i could tell you ten reasons why i am feeling that way. overall very confused, all over the place thought wise and with that unhappiness pushing me down like a huge,

*sigh* i’m still not 100% down with the sharing-or-not-part of the title but i’ve gotten a bunch of concerned emails and text-messages and calls over the last three weeks and i really miss the interaction with you guys, so here i am. i’m just