because i know what long weekends alone tend to do to me i spontaneously decided to hop in the car and drive three hours south to see four of my favorite people in the world for the long easter weekend at the beginning of the month. as usually, i fueled up on baby-smooches and -hugs and got back home after three days, two nights, one easter-fire, one easter egg hunt, lots of reading, playing, laughing, blanket-fort-building, story-telling and talking to my best friend over red wine and/or coffee completely (exhausted, yes but also) happy.

there’s almost nothing better to lift my spirits than a weekend with these awesome people. there’s so much love in that house, i wish i could bottle it up and take a sip of it whenever i need to. but my frequent visits and phone-talks are pretty much the next best thing so i won’t complain (even though it sucks having loved ones live in another city…).

i am also extremely (!) happy at my new job. it’s sometimes stressful and i (obviously, sorry about that btw) have a lot less “private” (online-)time but at the same time it’s so interesting, fulfilling, fun, challenging (in a good way) and pretty much 100% positive. i am seriously looking forward to going to work in the morning and the great feedback i got from my boss yesterday made me smile until i closed my eyes to go to sleep. so, overall things are looking good. just thought i’d let you know :) and i hope life is good for all of you as well… xoxoxo

PS: please remember world wish day and consider buying something from my shop (individual orders count as well :)) to donate to make a wish germany.

i haven’t talked about make-a-wish since bastian’s wish story. as you all know, there were so many other things going on that left me with very little time (and energy) to blog… behind the scenes though i have been working on a new wish and was hoping to be able and update you by the beginning of april. unfortunately that wish had to be cancelled last minute due to the wish child’s medical condition. now i just got the news about the kid finally doing better, which is the most important thing of course. since the wish had something to do with snow though, we’ll probably have to postpone it until the beginning of the new winter-season. i’ll let you know more then… the experience of planing this wish has been nothing but amazing. i got in touch with a hotel and right away the entire staff was extremely dedicated and helpful. let’s just say there were a number of phone calls with news that gave me goosebumps, made me tear up and once again reinforced my feeling that joining make-a-wish germany was once of the best decisions ever.

which leads me to april 29th 2012 = world wish day. world wish day is all about “spreading the word and sharing the power of a wish. thousands of children are diagnosed with life-threatening medical conditions in countries all over the world. help us bridge the gap and bring more joy to kids by showing your support of world wish day.”. you can do so by simply spreading the word, blogging about it or telling your friends/family over coffee.

or instead of buying that magazine or cup of coffee one day next week, donate a little amount to make-a-wish. if you would like to donate to make-a-wish germany you can simply use the button at the end of this post or in the sidebar and i personally guarantee that 100% of the money will make it to make-a-wish germany. if you prefer to donate to another affiliate in another country you can donate directly through make-a-wish.

also, for the rest of the month i will donate 20% of everything sold in my shop to make-a-wish germany. let’s make this world wish day extra special by helping make a child’s wish come true. then go ahead and read some of the wish stories and if knowing that you are part of this great cause doesn’t make you smile, i don’t know what will.

i’m running on really low fuel right now. the past weeks are definitely catching up with me and i feel like i’m losing control a little bit. all the new input at work is super (!) interesting and fun but also very exhausting. i’ve been feeling the need to ignore phone calls, cancel plans with friends and just curl up in a ball in my (awesome new) bed a lot lately. i’m not giving in to those needs every time though and thus end up sitting within a group of people (friends, colleagues) counting the minutes until it’s okay to leave without being rude. smalltalk is hard work these days. the thing is: nobody is putting pressure on me but myself.

i expect myself to be the perfect (new) employee, the perfect girlfriend who helps with the new place, the perfect friend who’s always there and ready to talk about how things are going, the prefect aunt, godmother and housekeeper. and let’s not forget that i need to get back into an exercise routine and cooking/eating super-healthy in order to lose weight. oh yeah and of course i need to be creative and crafting/sewing every free minute as well.

obviously i can’t meet my expectations which results in frustration, feeling like a (fat and ugly) failure, a bad employee and ultimately ends up in eating = starting the cycle all over again. i cried at work twice last week. twice. me. at work. besides my current state of mind the main reason probably being that one of my new colleagues has been a good friend of mine for almost twelve years and knows everything. so she just has this way of looking at me, letting me know that she knows how i really feel and that it’s okay. which is kinda like a kid who keeps it together until it sees his mom.

friday afternoon we sat on the balcony at work in the sun having a smoke and talking. we talked about depression and how that’s always harder to deal with in march (and september) and overall about how i’m doing. and i cried. again. when she told me something extremely important that i’m gonna take to heart: instead of focusing on all the things i don’t manage to do (as good/much as i expect from myself) i need to focus on the things i accomplish and am good at. every day. so i am going to write down at least three things every day that i did good. even if it’s just “small things”. apparently that will teach my brain to go easy on myself and focus on everything i do good. i’m sure there’s a lot of great things i do every day. i just need to give myself a break.